My friend Sam posted THIS the other day and it inspired me to tell this story of our crazy dog park experience, yes the actual dog park…

J and I visit the dog park fairly regularly. It’s a great place for Fritz to interact with other dogs and for him to burn up some of his endless supply of energy. About 2 nano seconds after we’ve unclipped his leash he’s already at the opposite end of the park running circles around some stunned cocker spaniel. Within 5 minutes of being at the park, he’s found a new friend of similar energy and they spend the rest of the time together running. Literally, running. Stopping only briefly for a drink of water and then running again.

We’re always amazed at the intensity of the owners. From the lady who thinks her dog will be psychologically injured if another dog barks at it to the guy who decides his dog owns the park and can harass anyone who comes into his park. Then there are the people who spend every afternoon at the park who may or may not have a dog and have taken personal responsibility for the park. Apparently the city is not strict enough for them so they take it upon themselves to enforce the rules. One such lady, and I use the term loosely, saw Frtiz do his business and noticed that we hadn’t seen it happen. She promptly stomped up to us and said, “Hey! Pick up your dog’s poop!”

Now, it is clearly posted in the rules of the park that the owner is responsible to dispose of land mines in the provided containers and we are usually very good about complying with said rule. So of course, J jumped into action and thanked the “lady” for pointing it out to us. This was not satisfactory to her because, apparently J scooped the wrong poop. At this point, most reasonable people would do one of two things. Either:

1. Point out that your dog’s dooty was actually over there and you accidentally scooped up some other dog’s dooty

OR

2. Go ahead and scoop up the other dooty and dispose of it yourself, since you realize the owner simply didn’t know about it.

Right? Isn’t that what you would do? Either way the poop gets tossed and the crisis averted.

Well, this person was not reasonable. She decided the best course of action would be to grab the scooper, scoop up the poop and show it to us explaining that this was the intended poop. Then, to put a proverbial cherry on top, dump the poop on J’s leg. Yes. You read that right. She thrust the scooper at him, he, in turn, pulled his leg back, so she thrust it again until she actually got poop on his pant leg and his shoe and finished off the attack by yelling “Grow up!”

Really? In what universe does that make sense? What is going on in your life when you think the more “grown up” thing to do is smear poo on a person because they scooped up another dog’s dooty? Well at this point, we are both shocked and start to get the giggles which of course makes her even more angry. It was then that we realized it was time for us to go. See ya later princess poo, best of luck ruling your dog park kingdom!

Someone could raise an interesting question at this point – “where was Fritz, your supposed guard dog, while this lunatic was attacking you with poo?” I ask myself the very same question. I’m pretty sure he was either running around like a dope, completely unaware of the altercation his business just caused OR he was hiding behind a tree watching and laughing while the whole thing went down. I’m afraid I’ll never know for sure.