I’ll get straight to the point today.

That says “Potty Patch.” Have you seen the infomercials for it?

No?

Now’s your chance.

I’ve spent many hours at the dog park over the years, but I have never seen dogs pee that many times in one minute 44 seconds. I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same.

I’d like to call your attention to about 0:30 where the voiceover dude says “the elevated turf drains into the base, keeping it odor-free!”

So let me get this straight. The turf stays odor-free because it drains into the base. Ok. What about the base? I’m guessing that after a full day of doggie drippings there would be an ominous cloud of offensive odor filling your entire house. BORK

Now, to be completely honest, I could see how this could actually be a useful tool during house training for a puppy. But a grown dog like this?

Really? Maybe I’m too used to my backyard and the mild California weather to truly appreciate the practicality of such a thing.

Nah. It’s just gross.