I just finished my “snack pack” that included 6 pretzels, 5 mini, spicy cheese covered “toasts,” and 4 surprise-seasoned, crunchy worms and I’m regretting my decision to read some blogs instead of grab lunch before boarding the plane. It was a classic moment of 8 year old logic – “I wasn’t hungry then…” Well, I’m hungry now and I’m scolding myself using the classic mom line “You should have eaten before we left. I told you to eat something because you would be hungry later.” I appreciate that my Mom, like all good moms, attempted to install that good sense in my little brain, but I’m afraid her efforts have not been 100% successful.
My regret is only intensified by the smells wafting back from first class. I’m sitting 2 rows back from the iron curtain that separates the uppity ups from us regular folk and I watched with a little smirk on my face as the flight attendant snapped it shut. The only problem with this particular iron curtain is that it is not iron at all It is, in fact, made from fish net… I think (this is an Alaska flight) The problem with fish net is that you can see through it. The problem with seeing through it is that I just watched the butler flight attendant serve what looked like Thai chicken satay on a bed of safron infused wild rice with steamed asparagus and fresh picked Washington berries.
Ok, so maybe I didn’t see all that detail, but that sure sounds good, doesn’t it? To make matters worse, he was serving the delicious looking entree on real plates with real flatware and real stemware. None of that spork and 3 ounce plastic cup non-sense for the folks in rows 1-5.
Meanwhile my neighbor is engaging in some sort of airborne yoga and drinking tomato juice (I cannot stand tomato juice) and I just popped in another piece of gum and tried to pretend it’s a delicious Washington berry. It’s not. Maybe I should have brought my new lipstick that for some reason smells like chicken stew. Or maybe I should have eaten some lunch before boarding the plane….
