Boxers are really smart. Too smart.  Unlike golden retrievers, who would happily do anything you ask just for a “good dog” pat on the head, boxers will weigh the options and choose the one that best fits their schedule. Fritz and I have these exchanges almost daily. I ask him to do something and he thinks through the pros and cons of my request before making his decision.

For example, when he escapes our yard into the greener pastures of the neighborhood and harasses all the neighbor dogs within 30 seconds flat, I’ll call out to him, “Fritz, COME!” He stops, looks at me and thinks “If I go to her, I’ll get water and I am really thirsty from running so fast. I’ll probably get a nice treat and belly scratch for obeying. I’ll be able to rest on my nice soft doggie bed. On the other hand, if I don’t go to her, I’ll be free to go wherever I want! I won’t be stuck behind that dumb gate. I can play with the german shepherds down the street and I might score some refried beans and tortillas from the neighbors. Yeah… I’m gonna stay out here, lady. You can chase me if you want, but you know I’m faster than you.”

At this point, it doesn’t matter what I have to offer – treats, water, toys, affection, a cat – he will not come. I’m going to have to catch him which means sneaking up on him ninja style while he’s in a neighbor’s yard and sealing off all the possible exits so that he has no option but be caught and drug back home.

One time we had some friends over at our house and Lightning McFritz took a 3 second window of opportunity to escape through the open screen door. I took off after him. Our friend Paul Hoover was hot on his tail through the door and stayed with him until he made the costly error of going into a fenced yard with easily sealed exits.  He had no where to go but was not about to get caught. He darted back and forth laughing at me while I tried to grab him when, suddenly, Paul took a flying leap and tackled him football style. I’ll never forget the look on Fritz’ face as Paul flew toward him in slow-motion, arms straight out like super man. His eyes got real wide and his mouth dropped open in shock. Yep, that was a great day.

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